CCAA Update!!

CONGRATS to everyone who is receiving their referrals today!! I was shocked to see CCAA send 19 days worth compared to 8 days last month. I think this is the most days sent this year!! Should we be getting excited that CCAA is speeding up again or whats your thoughts???




For all of you that didnt make the cut-off this month:

Secret Pal

I raced home at lunch like I have all week to see if my SECRET PAL had struck. Well today I found my package stuck inside my side door. Once I opened the package I noticed that each gift was wrapped in red tissue and had some beautiful gold lady bug stickers on them. WOW.....Secret Pal your little touches where so special. I love the book, little blankie, ladybug candle and the little ladybug (I have it in my wallet for GOOD LUCK...lol). Also it was super nice of you to think of my nephew Hunter. I didnt open his gift as I will see him either later today or tomorrow and he will be sooo excited to open it!! THANK YOU SO MUCH SECRET PAL......YOU WERE AWESOME!!!P.S- I cant wait to read the book. I have wanted to get my hands on it for a long time....so this weekend while I sit infront of the fire at the lake I'm going to enjoy reading it!!!!

Family & Friends PLEASE READ!!!

What to Expect When You're Expecting (from China)

..A MUST Read for Adopting Parents

I have read this before and its an excellent article written by Amy Eldridge, from Love Without Boundaries, addressing the recent adoption disruptions and parental preparedness. Catherine posted it on her blog yesterday and asked us all to share it on our blogs. I would really love all my family & friends to take a few minutes and read this article......we all can benfit from it!!

*****

I have been so saddened by this situation. I most definitely wish there was a way to educate ALL adoptive parents about the truths of institutional care, however I have come to realize in my daily work that there are just as many parents who are not online reading everything they can find on adoption as are.

There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of parents out there who have no idea what life is like for a child in an orphanage, and who head overseas to pick up their "China doll" only to be handed a baby who is unresponsive, thin, unable to eat..and on and on and on. While adopting my son last month, I walked several times over to the White Swan to talk to parents, and over and over I spoke with moms and dads who had no clue whatsoever about the issues their kids were having. I heard so many times things like, "she won't eat solid foods" (oral aversion), "she has no muscle tone" (muscle atrophy from lying in a crib all day), "she won't smile" (pure grieving from being taken from her foster mom). I guess since I live China 24/7, I assume everyone adopting does, too, which is not the case.

I talked to at least a dozen parents who didn't even know their child's orphanage name, and while I gently said "you might want to memorize that for your child's sake", at the same time I was trying to process how many parents get all the way to China without ever reading about post-institutional issues. It was sobering to me.

Babies in the NSN (non special needs) as well as the SN (special needs) path can have issues with attachment, motor skills, emotional issues and more. I think all of us on the WCC (Waiting Children China) list acknowledge that, while also acknowledging that all children (whether bio or not) can have these same issues. Living in an orphanage of course increases the odds.

I think the easy out is to say that agencies have to do more, as well as social workers, but I do think that most of them do try to give information to the parents but often parents don't want to hear it or else think it won't happen to them. Again, I am often surprised to talk to parents leaving soon and to realize they are not prepared. One family was adopting from our foster care program, and when I told them that the child was DEEPLY attached to the mom, the father said, "guess she might cry for an hour or so then?" An hour or so? She had been in foster care for over a year! I tried to explain that this little girl was about ready to lose everything she had ever known, and that they should not expect her to be sunny, happy, and full of personality after an hour. I told them to please remember the 72 hour rule.......that after 72 hours they would probably see her spark, but that she would probably grieve for a long time after that as well.

I think for many adoptive parents, they just don't want to read the "bad stuff", and so I do think that ultimately it is the parents who are at fault for not doing more to educate themselves. There certainly are books galore out there about post-institutional issues. I equate this to when I was pregnant with my kids and I would read "What to Expect When Expecting", and I would get to the C-section part and always skip it. Each and every time I would jump to the next chapter as "that wasn't going to happen to me". Well, on my fifth baby, when they were rushing me in for an emergency C section, I sure was wishing I had read that section earlier! But at that point in the OR, while they were strapping my hands down to the table, it was too late, and so I felt complete panic when I could have been prepared. I think adoption from China is very similar to giving birth...it is much more rosy to only read the happy stories on APC, but I now encourage every family I meet to read the harder ones as well, because if you are the family who is handed a child that is limp and listless and who looks autistic, what you have learned in the past will help you make the right decision for your family during those very emotional first few days.

I have been called many times in the last few years by parents in China worried about their children. I agree that having a support network to help you through the initial time is essential. Everyone should go to China with at least one phone number of someone they can call if they are panicked upon meeting their new child. I remember feeling so alone when I was handed my daughter and she was so tiny and limp. Because our foundation often helps with the kids who have been disrupted, I am aware that sometimes there are children who have much more serious issues than originally reported..and that is such a hard thing for a parent to get to China and then discover their child is truly autistic or has serious mental delays. I think everyone on both the China and international side would agree that it is absolutely wrong of an orphanage to not be honest in their reports, and no one would excuse that, but I also know without a doubt that the majority of kids who are disrupted are just suffering from institutional issues and would catch up quickly in a loving home. It is always a very sad day for the orphanage and everyone involved when a child that they know is absolutely fine, but perhaps thin and grieving, is returned by their new parents for being "delayed".

I think far too many people believe their child's life is going to begin the moment they meet them. The truth is, and everyone must realize it..a child's life is going on RIGHT NOW in China, and all of their experiences are shaping who they are. The vast majority of aunties that I have met in China are such kind and caring people, but it absolutely is not the same as having a mom and dad at your beck and call. I have had new parents call and say "we didn't think living in an orphanage would affect her at all", and those statements truly puzzle me. How could they not contemplate life in an orphanage?

Walk through Babies R Us and you will see every gadget known to man to make our children's lives here as ideal as possible. Now Americans have two way video monitors, so that when baby awakens not only can mommy see when to immediately rush in and comfort him, but she can talk to baby so that he doesn't even have one single second where he feels alone. How many new parents would have a newborn and then put that baby in a crib 22 hours a day on their own? How many would only feed their baby, even if they were really crying hard, every 8 hours? Or prop the bottle in her crib and then not watch to see if she ever really ate?

Of course no one would do that..we feed newborns on demand, comfort on demand, love continuously..and whether people want to recognize it or not, that is NOT the life of an orphan in an institution. ...even when the aunties are as good as gold. I remember one night when I took some volunteers in for the night shift in an orphanage, when normally just a few aunties are working. One mom looked at me with tears in her eyes as she slowly realized that it was absolutely impossible with just two hands to feed every child, to comfort every child, to soothe every baby who was crying. She said her heart was aching to realize that her own daughter most likely had many, many times where she cried without someone to comfort her.....and she told me that for the first time she finally understood why her daughter had such a deep seated fear of being out of her mom's sight.

The aunties are trying their absolute best, but that doesn't equal mother/child care. I remember being in an orphanage in the north this past winter and the aunties were so proud of how they had 6-8 layers of clothes and blankets on every baby to keep them warm. They were swaddled so tight that they couldn't move, but it was freezing in the orphanage and so the aunties wanted the babies to stay as warm as possible. What alternative did they have? It really was freezing there..I was cold in my wool coat, so the babies couldn't be up and about with just 1-2 layers on, with the ability to move their arms and legs. To stay warm they had to be immobile, and so of course all of those kids have weak muscle tone. But the aunties were truly trying their best, and when a parent is given one of those beautiful children on adoption day, I am sure they will go back to their room with concern and say "she can't sit up by herself..she can't put weight on her legs". That is absolutely the truth, but she also survived 10 degree weather in a very cold province and she will catch up soon enough with parents to encourage her.

To not acknowledge that living in orphanage circumstances can cause lower body weights, low muscle tone, inability to make good eye contact is very sad to me. Can it be overcome? Most definitely! The one thing I have learned over and over again about the kids in China is that they are fighters and survivors. But for some reason, people seem to want to ignore these issues in public forums.

Recently, one of our medical babies that we had met several times in person was adopted, and we all knew that this child was a "spitfire". When the family arrived and spent a few days with her, they decided she was too much of a handful for them and they wanted to disrupt. She absolutely was not what they expected. When they called their agency, they were told they had two choices: adopt the child, bring her to the US, and change their expectations of what they were hoping for, or adopt the child, bring her to the US and the agency would have a family waiting at the airport to adopt her locally. Option three of leaving the child in China was never once given. I admire that agency so much, as they were thinking of the child and the child alone. The family followed through with the adoption and handed the little girl to a new family upon her arrival in the US. As horrible and tragic and emotional as it was for everyone involved...I still feel this was the right decision for the agency to make. It was done in the absolute best interest of the child, who had waited a long, long time for a family. I wish more agencies would advocate for the rights of the child, instead of always seeming to give in to the parents, especially in those cases when they know with absolute certainty that nothing is permanently wrong with the child. Recently with another disruption, the agency I spoke with told me that it was "easier" to just get the family a new baby.

Sometimes easier does not equal right. The first baby who was rejected has now been labelled "mentally challenged" even though the agency knew the child was really going to be okay.

I think all of us, who do realize that delays occur and that babies can usually overcome them, should be these children's advocates by continually trying to educate new parents on what to expect in China. By helping them be better prepared, we just might help stop a disruption in the future. I love Chinese adoption with my whole heart, and it is my life's work..but I also want every family who goes to get their baby to go with their eyes open and to be as emotionally prepared as possible, for the child's sake.

Amy Eldridge,Love Without BoundariesLove Without Boundaries

***
I have been preparing for the day my daughter Channing is placed in my arms (will be the greatest day of my life). I'm not only trying to prepare & educate myself, I also am trying to prepare & educate my family & friends which I have shared all my books and movies on China adoption with them. I'm aware the transition may or may not be smooth, and it is very possible that Channing will have some of these delays, attachment issues, weak muscle tone, health issues, ect..and I will work through the challenges. THANK YOU to my family & friends for all your love & support!!!

Wedding Pictures

Rain or shine we had a good time!! Brent & Lisa's wedding was absolutley stunning!! Lisa was a beautiful bride and Brent looked "HOT"!! This wedding was WOW....there was so many "special" touches throughout the ceremony & reception. I'm so glad they got married first...haha!! Just look at the cake, the confetti on the tables was pictures of them, and the meal was amazing!! You can sure tell that they are HAPPY & in LOVE!!


The reception was at Snow Valley Ski Lodge right in Edmonton. It was perfect. After supper they started a fire and is was so warm!! Ohhh and for all you HUMMER fans, the wedding vehicles were 2 Hummers & Brent & Lisa rode in a Corvette.

More pictures to come!! Aunite Eilleen & Nadine this is your last chance to show me $$, or I POST the picture of you guys.....hehe!!!

CONGRATS Brent & Lisa......Hope your enjoying your Honeymoon in Hawaii!!!!

Edmonton Trip

Here are pictures of my 2 favourite little buddies. Miss Haley is on the left snoozing in bed and Mr. Hunter is playing with his new train set that I got him at IKEA. Hunter is OBSESSED with trains, so this was a JACKPOT purchase by Auntie Kim.

So if Haley wants to play with her cousin Hunter I guess she better set the dolls down and learn her trains. For some reason I think she will have no problem playing trains!!!

Changing again!!

Poor Connie.....Well I took off to Alberta last weekend and left Connie with this "blog makerover". Connie was so kind enough to do this for me. I sent her a picture of the header I wanted and today I changed my mind. Connie did a fabulous job at making it work, but I'm not a professional photographer..... and the resolution just isnt working. Needless to say.....we are still under construction!!! Please bare with us until we get this tackled!! In between Connie delivering babies, not sleeping, shopping, taking pictures of her furry friends, renovating, chasing off dirty girls and blog stalking we will get this done!! Thanks Connie for puttign up with me, and I will get even with you...hehe!! OK....Rempel if your reading, this is your chance to dive in and have input on a header....I now how much you like to "design".......go for it!!
I now have my HARD HAT on just incase Connie desides to blow things up....I wouldnt blame her after having to work with me.....(no comment Deb).

A little about me

Since I have been gone for the last 4 days, I had lots of catching up to do..almost everyone had done this on their blog......so here's I go:

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? Kim
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No, but my grandpa named me.
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Hmmm, cant remember. But it would've been whenI was thinking/talking about Channing.
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Honey maple ham.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yeah I think.
7. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Only my blog.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes, but shouldnt.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Honey Nut Cherrios.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Sometimes.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Yes....very strong person.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Tiger, Tiger.
14. SHOE Size? 6.5 or 7
15. RED OR PINK? Neither, but since I have to pick one....PINK.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Have to think about this.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? All my family that has passed away. Grandma & Grandpa, Aunt and cousin.
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Jeans
19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Z99 radio station.
20. WHERE IS THE ONE PLACE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE RIGHT NOW? In China holding Channing & bringing her home!!!
21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Yellow
22. FAVORITE SMELL? Cinnamon, vanilla, my puppy, bounce, and rain.
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Diane (Turtle)
24. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Smile, sense of humour, and eyes.
25. FAVORITE DRINK? Tim Hortons DOUBLE DOUBLE Coffee and Good Host Iced Tea
26. FAVORITE SPORT? Hockey
27. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Yellow
28. HAT SIZE? No clue.....small??
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Pasta and Chinese
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings
32. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Navy
33. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer
34. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs....(only becuase I dont have a man right now)
35. FAVORITE DESSERT? Apple crisp
36. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Travelling to China...National Geographic
37. WHAT'S ON THE MOUSE PAD? Nothing....plain black
38. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? The end of Canadian Idol and a little Amazing Race
39. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SOUNDS? Ocean, Hunter giggling, Chimes, Thunder & Rain
40. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Hawaii
41. WHAT ARE YOUR SPECIAL TALENTS? Shopping and decorating
42 AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Moose Jaw, SK
43. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I've seen this on everyones blog today
44. WHAT DAY IS IT? Monday

Don't gag...

Nope, not Kim here....this is Connie. As you can see, Kim is in the middle of a blog overhaul. You can also tell that I am nowhere near finished. So much for me having one of those 'While You Were Out' remodeling shows. Poor Kim, her jaw will drop (not in a good way). I will get things cleaned up and a new template in place but, as happens, life calls and I have to leave it as is for now. Sorry all! Keep checking back for the finished product over the next few days.

OFF TO A WEDDING

Tomorrow I will be heading to Edmonton, Alberta for my cousin Brents wedding. Brent & Lisa's wedding isnt until Saturday, but since it takes 8 hours to drive to Edmonton we decided we would leave Thursday. It will be so much fun at the wedding seeing all our family. Now that we are getting "older" we dont get to see eachother as often. The last family gathering was last year when everyone came down here for my cousin Lori & Rob's wedding. It was a BLAST, but it didnt seem like I got to visit with anyone because I was the maid-of-honor, so I had other duties to do. This wedding I will actually be able to visit with everyone and "tie one on".

When you go to Edmonton you have to go shopping!! So friday will be a SHOPPING day!! I have a few things on my "TO BUY LIST" such as a outfit for the wedding, crib, crib bedding set & a dresser for Channing. Edmonton has the the worlds largest entertainment & shopping center...West Edmonton Mall. West Edmonton Mall has over 800 stores, 100 eating establishments and nine world class attractions. I have been to the West Ed Mall a number of times but havent seen the new phase "China Town". I cannot wait!!! I wonder what I can find for Channing....hmmm?? So for all you shoppers this mall is truely a "shoppers dream".

I guess another "must" is to go to Once Upon A Child. Cousin Lori has already been informed that we are going here and she is game!! I have never heard of this store until Connie was talking about it on her blog. I decided to check out and see if we had one in Canada and sure enough there is one in Edmonton.

Here is what Connie had to say about this store: "This place is like mama-crack! It is upscale eBay without the shipping. Yeah, there's some so-so stuff but there is a lot of fabu stuff if you look through. Toys, gear and the clothes! Gymboree, Baby Lulu, Carter's, Children's Place, Hilfiger, Janie & Jack - you name it. It's like all the cool kid stores in one place and at amazing prices. This is better than any outlet gig I have had to be sure. Yep, I did some shoppy and got a whole bag of goodies for what I have paid for one outfit in the past.".....I love the way Connie describes things. I cannot wait until one day I can shop with her!! I can just imagine what is in Jadyn's closet so far!!! Connie when do we get to see a picture??

Other stores I want to make it too is Ikea, Kids Furniture Gallery and of course eat at the Olive Garden...mmm!! If any of you have any "tips" on where to shop for baby cribs and fun stuff let me know....I'm making a list!!

So tonight I will be busy washing clothes, cleaning house and packing my suitcase. I also have to get Saige packed up as she is heading to the lake for the weekend to stay with Dave, Diane & Kadi!!! I hope you all have a super weekend and I'll catch up with you when I get back on Sunday.

Another amazing story!!

Please follow the "Journey to YangZI". This a heart warming story of how a family "found" their new daughter.
Here is a quick version:
They adopted their daughter, Alanna, in Nov. 2004 from Hefei in the Anhui province. On Thanksgiving Day, they visited the Hefei SWI. That visit was so emotional for the family. The mom cried through out most of there visit.
The cutest little girl with pigtails captured the mom's heart. She followed the family around with the biggest smile on her face. When the family left the orphanage, she was standing at the top of the stairs waving bye. It crushed the mom to leave her there! The mom made a silent vow that day to come back and bring her home.
Fast forward........they are in China right now bringing home this little girl!!!!

A Must WATCH!!!

While doing my normal daily routine of reading posts on groups and surfing blogs, I found this video today of Ellie. I love watching "Gotcha" videos, but this one of Ellie really touched my heart. While watching the video I kept thinking that this could be Channing. I have requested a daughter between 6-24 months with a minor corrected/correctible heart condition and Miss Ellie was adopted with a corrected heart condition....as you can see in the video she is perfectly fine and a happy little one!!! WOW.....got my heart racing....I want to go to China today, I want to hold my Channing in my arms, I want my BABY!!!


So last night I was out at the lake and sitting on the grass with our next door neighbour Diane. There were LADYBUGS everywhere!!! They were crawling on my hands, legs and even one was crawling up my shirt!! Even the dogs had ladybugs on them........ohhh please bring good news to us all....soon!!!

Hope you all enjoy Ellie's video.....it made my day!!!

Half A World Away

Today I find myself thinking of Channing constantly. I think of her so much, but today seems different. I guess it might be because I'm working on my quilt wishes, Immigration/Sponsorship papers, and Grandma & Grandpa are getting their 1st Hep A & B shots. So this is for my dear baby Channing:

Half A World Away

A half a world away

Sometimes it seems we're so far apart

But a half a world away

Is not too far for a journey of the heart

My little one, my bundle of joy

I'm waiting for you

My precious daughter, my baby girl

I know you're waiting too

A half a world away

A child waits for a family of her own

While a half a world away

A family waits to come bring her home

My little one, my bundle of joy

I'm whispering a prayer

My precious daughter, my baby girl

I hope to soon be there

I hope that we

will no longer be

a half a world away

- Jill Marshall-Work

Job Description

This is for all you Mom and soon-to-be moms!!! My dear friend Amy from Victoria sent this to me......I thought it was cute......an eye opener fursure!!! But I'm ready to challenge this job!!!

"MOM - JOB DESCRIPTION "

POSITION :Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy,

MaJOB DESCRIPTION:Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs a couple of bucks . Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability! y for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Sooooo.......Forward this on to all the Moms and soon-to-be Moms you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated.